When is it abuse?
When you’re in an emotional and verbal abusive relationship, you begin questioning yourself and your value. Not only your value within the relationship, but as a whole.
Words hurt, especially when they come from someone you love, but when is it abuse?
Here are 5 signs you need to be aware of:
1. IT'S A LOSE, LOSE.
Do you feel like you just can’t win? Do you walk on eggshells, trying to word things the right way so they don't get mad? Or, no matter how carefully you go about resolving an issue, your partner places the blame directly onto you or says things that make you feel like you’re in the wrong and that everything is your fault. They can even being name calling and pointing out your "faults" that have nothing to do with the situation at hand just to make you feel even worse.
2. BYE BYE SELF ESTEEM.
Since being with your partner, has your self-esteem and self-confidence diminished or just straight up vanished? Your partner can throw out subtle or direct comments that can hurt you and your self-esteem. They mask it by suggesting that they're only saying things for your own benefit, or they are trying to help you. These comments and "helpful" suggestions often lead to you questioning your goals, capability and ultimately yourself.
3. SENSITIVE SALLY.
When your partner says a hurtful comment and you confront them, do they just chalk it up to the fact that you're just a sensitive sally? (Notice the blame shift here). When you point out that they said something inappropriate or hurtful, they rarely take responsibility for it. Somehow, they manage to convince themselves and even you when anything goes wrong, it's your fault...again.
4. BRUNT OF JOKES.
We all love a partner with a good sense of humor however, when you are often the brunt of jokes that undermine you and make you feel bad it's not a laughing matter.
5. HOLDING A GRENADE.
Do you feel like you're holding onto a grenade every time you're with your partner, hoping you don't do anything "wrong" to trigger it. You have fear saying something wrong so you are continuously thinking before you speak and you do everything you can to make sure nothing happens to set your partner off. This can set you into a life of consistent stress and anxiety.
These are just five signs of verbal and emotional abuse, there are many more.
Take back the control!
Stop accepting their behavior and take control by letting them know you will not engage in conversation that you feel is attacking or undermining. Speak up and let your partner know where you stand.
Words are powerful enough to damage people. They can break someone’s spirit, take away their self-esteem and confidence, even their self-worth. If you are in an emotional and verbal abusive relationship, be cautious. Sometimes, the abuse escalates to physical altercations. Confide in someone close to you and let them know what you're going through, seek help and support from them as you find a way to move onto a future free of this abuse.
Love is a beautiful thing that starts with you. Celebrate yourself, love who you are and find someone who can do the same. You deserve a healthy relationship. Don't settle for anything less.
